


through

by sun_incarnate



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Historical, Hyunjae meets Sangyeon through lifetimes but they don't always end up together :D!!, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Minor Injuries, Pining, Soulmates Reincarnated, at some points, limited pov, non-linear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:01:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27383107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sun_incarnate/pseuds/sun_incarnate
Summary: "i want to always be with him."jaehyun has waited lifetimes and lifetimes again. jaehyun is patient and long-suffering. never uncomplaining, that's for sure, but what else is expected of him?
Relationships: Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae/Lee Sangyeon
Comments: 12
Kudos: 24





	through

**Author's Note:**

> this is hyunjae-centric but it's a wip that's been stuck at the drafts for months and i wanted to finish it for sangyeon's bday..... ive done my research but it's not enough so forgive inaccuracies pls

**iv. 현재 — present**

_faint rain pitter-patter-weak against the panes, wine pouring red red deep reds but a drop strays, a finger darting out to catch before the fall, quick suck on the fingertip quicker hum at the taste, carpeted footfalls padding to the living room whisper-gentle_.

full wineglass in hand, jaehyun switches through channels before settling for some historical drama and throwing the remote somewhere on the couch.

it had been drizzling all day—he would've called it rain had it soaked him through the layers of coat and pressed shirt. the not-raindrops mist his windows, and the glare from the television is just enough to contrast the fuzzy heat wine makes him feel. enough to bring his attention back to the silken dresses and concubines and secret princes and bloody wars on-screen. 

raises an eyebrow at the way past is presented, almost too real, fighting a grimace at his own recollection of the era; but he knows, more than anyone alive in the present, these aren't all that there is to royalty.

[ _portraits, jade charms trapping moonlight, scholar robes, scholar riddles, scholar lips. snake court and eyes ears sharp for guards, flower oil on shared baths, knowing glances before a taut string brings the arrow home._ ]

if there's one period in time he'd want to forget, it'd be when he was still crowned and too proud and draped red in more ways than whatever picture him and his silken robes could make.

 _should've just settled for the nature channel_ , it's hard work being a little tipsy holding the stem of his glass while rummaging under throw pillows to look for the remote, _we were all animals back then, anyway_. 

jaehyun scoffs at the ministers undermining the young king. snake court.

on the second refilling of his glass is when sangyeon comes home, umbrella dripping—jaehyun looks to the window. rain is now coming unforgiving—collected raindrops on the cold tiles of the entryway. 

shoulders not that slumped; his latest track must've been approved.

"celebrating without me?"

if the glint in his eyes hadn't been shining even under the dulled light of the living room jaehyun would've thought he's some wounded animal. he's got the lilt in his voice for it, that brittle tired tension accentuating the pout making its way on his mouth, and his eyes. 

it's always sangyeon's eyes that betray, betrayed, _will_ betray him.

jaehyun wonders when it'll be the right time to tell sangyeon that they've always been together.

"manifested your track getting approved, hyung. and we all know i'm double my usual ten-out-of-ten when i've had alcohol in me." 

jaehyun stands up to help him out of his coat. sangyeon's warmer underneath it, and jaehyun prefers hugs with extra body heat.

"so you're what now, hyun? double ten? hear that, a solid twenty." sangyeon smirks jaehyun's tipsiness away, waking him effortless along with the rough of his hands holding jaehyun's.

"please don't talk math to me, i was just about to kiss you," leaning in anyway head tilted already. natural. 

like always, whenever sangyeon comes home. because last time he didn't get to kiss him as much as he'd have liked to, and jaehyun's making up for it. the last time sangyeon had been alive, jaehyun had only kissed him a couple of times, in secret. under wraps. there's nothing remotely lovely about that.

tonight, he leans in completely and captures lips with his own, despite all laughed threats of more numbers and maths. finds that he'll never tire of this, even though he can't help but worry over the day that'll come when he doesn't get to kiss sangyeon again. 

jaehyun likes to remind himself that he will never have enough time, even if they've just started on the togetherness in this life. the pain of all his memories is what grounds him, makes him feel real and here, so what choice has he except to take whatever's thrown at him? be it pain, be it aches, jaehyun resolves to swallow them all. masochistic tendency.

 _nothing hurts in being prepared, anyway_ , he thinks as sangyeon sighs gentle into the kiss.

_should i tell him?_

when they part, jaehyun remembers that he hasn't switched channels yet, that he's forgotten where he's put his wine. so he leads sangyeon back to the living room, promises him warm dinner and an even warmer bed to lay atop on later.

_not now. not yet._

a few paces, and the television comes into view. jaehyun sits down the couch as the king on-screen settles down on his throne. 

_all hail the king!_

_hail!_

_all hail the king!_

jaehyun remembers this echoing through the throne room, hearing the chant with his own ears once. the memory shivers along his skin until sangyeon notices the goosebumps raising and pulls him closer to heat and warmth and home.

a glance offered in thanks, now still recalling, _i didn't have him beside me that day._

**iii. 왕관 — crown**

_water lapping against the sides of the wooden tub, steps of guards doing their rounds outside the bathhouse, stones crunching underneath boots, the slow creaking groans of an opening door,_ _a whisper, "your highness,"_ _voice softly passing through the curtains._

jaehyun scratches his nails against the wood. grit. 

"come in." 

moonlight against blue fabric, storks and cranes mid-flight stitched sewn on his robes; they aren't allowed to turn their backs to royalty so this scholar had settled for bowing low and making sure to not see jaehyun bathing. 

he kneels and lays his hands atop folded thighs. the ripplings of his robe look too much like the seas. 

too much. 

[ _cloak billowing in the ocean breeze, tunic plastered_ _against sea-salty skin. a smile through pity, almond eyes, words in secret, reassurances and faith, brewing storm in the horizon, a tinkling laughter hushed swallowed by the night_. ]

sangyeon. a scholar who got into the palace by passing the examinations, deeming him worthy of his stay. jaehyun has found him fascinating. after all, it's not everyday you see a student of confucianism return the advances of the prince.

jaehyun glides a hand under the water. the peach blossoms and orchids on its surface shy away from him. 

"have you heard of the reports on the namsadang?" 

he admits. "i have seen the minister of war," jaehyun checks and smiles at the absence of tension, wanting to touch where sangyeon's jaw isn't even clenched despite the fact that this issue goes against all that he's taught with, "i saw him take a boy to one of their rooms. the boy came out with no robes on, clutching gold pieces." 

"you've been to their _houses_ then?" 

sangyeon looks up at him at this, and jaehyun takes note of how the other doesn't even flinch now that he's draped himself over the edge. wood digs unto the skin of his arms and chest but it's no matter, not when a little discomfort shortens the distance between sangyeon and him.

a quiet nod. two. shame is in the image of his ears red under the moonlight. "what did you see?"

no answer. impertinence. jaehyun beckons him closer. 

sangyeon shuffles on his knees but it isn't what jaehyun wants. not enough, still. he's too far, too distanced, too out of reach. 

but all it takes is one stern look before sangyeon gives in and stands, knowing what's wanted of him from how often they've already met like this. secret. hidden.

jaehyun plays around and makes sure to be as authoritative as he can despite the fact that it is him who's now knelt and below sangyeon. the way he towers over the tub is a _crime_ , openly gazing at jaehyun even as the sheerness of his bathing clothes barely hides all that he's supposed to cover. 

jaehyun needs sangyeon to go against his very principles and betray them to _sin_.

he pulls at the front of sangyeon's robes but the scholar's quick in avoiding the edge of the tub from hitting his jaw. jaehyun wants to praise him for it.

he purrs right into his ear. "is this what you saw?" jaehyun has no spare robes for sangyeon so he settles for unwrapping his own. wouldn't want to dirty the scholar now. 

"just like this?" sangyeon's breath hitches against his ear right as jaehyun slips the cloth past his shoulders, the glow of moonlight through the window hitting him and bouncing off his skin. when he leans back he can see stars in sangyeon's eyes, wide open and doubtless as the night skies. "am i doing it right, sangyeon?"

jaehyun knows he's egging him on, gasping his name into the steamed air like so, aware that if one word of this gets out there'd be consequences worse than being shunned and exiled to remote islands. but this is too good, and how can he deny himself this when sangyeon maps his body desperately so?

eyes on his chest. on his arms. right where the edge of the tub had imprinted on his skin red lines of angry intrusion. marks where the prince should never face anything that would blemish his skin. would sangyeon be gentler than this?

he takes one of sangyeon's hands and pushes the sleeve of his robe back up his arm, so far up jaehyun could grab on his biceps if he wants to. but instead of submerging to the momentary desire he dips sangyeon's hand under the oiled water and lets it stay there. it's amusing how sangyeon doesn't even pull away.

sudden. head cocked, ears angled towards the walls. stones under boots on the other side. guards on duty doing rounds, too loud, too unhindered. they know the prince likes to bathe at night, know that he isn't to be disturbed, but jaehyun would still have to be quiet.

"you have an hour to show me what it is you know has happened there, sangyeon." 

**ii. 바다쪽으로 — oceanward**

_the sea a storm, the sea a wrath, oceanspray hellbent on its fury to blind. shouts and screams and lightning screeches, the crew half-mad with desperation and hopelessness; the ship is a toy boat with paper sails, and through this midnight hell the sound of ripping canvas is never a melody._

" _jaehyun!_ " someone calls then. cries out.

the deck is full with half of everyone trying to save the ship, the other half strapping him against the mast, and jaehyun can't believe how even through the chaos he still finds himself wanting to ease the traces of anguish blanketing sangyeon's face.

he's heard the whispers about him the moment he's presented to the captain, has seen that disgusting want to devour in his eyes the same time the vile man had seethed, " _enslave him_." 

fae. nymph. witch. the same things as what the mainlanders had voiced out. falsities and farce. jaehyun's only allowed to be outside under the sun and atop the deck for an hour a day, and when one of them has heard him sing to the waves all the whispers turned to jabs of _siren_. 

which is reason why he's tied to the mast now, why he's left under the mercy of the storm, under the heavens' murderous intent. the captain is superstitious but they don't have women aboard, don't have anything better to offer as sacrifice so why not this man who's lovely and sings sweet just like one?

although, jaehyun's only regret is that he should have sat beside sangyeon earlier today when the sun was still midday-bright, when the sea had given more mercy and calm than jaehyun's endless curse of remembering all his memories. he blinks back the bile and swallows the tears, knowing he should have dared to go near when he saw sangyeon peeling apples and feeding bits to the seagulls that perched nearby. 

one only longs for the sun when he's thrown in the dark.

[ _river cooling skins, figs, saccharine nectarine, the sun a honey-melt blaze. sprites giggling past, flowerbud braids and cornucopia bounty, fingers tasting of fruit around lips._ ] 

remembering is as much curse as it is a blessing. 

the captain has a gun on his hand and a handful of others standing by, braids of ropes on fists and waiting to pounce at he who wants to free jaehyun. 

"who do you work for, sangyeon?" the door to the captain's cabin is wide open to accommodate the width of the man threatening him. 

"who do you work for?" jaehyun's asked him that too, when sangyeon's duties to the ship involved making sure jaehyun's plates are cleared of food when he brings back another one below deck. back to this beginning, when hope had blurred jaehyun's memories of the past.

sangyeon used to answer, " _don't worry, he's harmless._ " and jaehyun wanted to believe him. because the captain rarely goes to see jaehyun, even during the hours he spends enjoying the night view under the stars alone and unprotected, even after that obvious desire for wrecking had shown through his eyes.

sangyeon used to answer, " _he isn't half bad, that's just reputation speaking_." and jaehyun believed him. because the captain feeds him even as his purpose is the bare meagre helping out in the kitchens, scrubbing the planks when the others are too tired, untangling nets and ropes with too-soft hands. 

sangyeon sighs. 

the sound reaches jaehyun even over the storm, the physicality of the pain knocking faith out of his chest. it hadn't been anything but the barest trust, hadn't been anything other than gratefulness for the fact that someone is willing to stay by him for once. 

but sangyeon looks to jaehyun only once and nevermore. 

_who do you work for?_

and sangyeon answers, "you, captain."

and jaehyun faces the storm head-on. alone. mourning.

**i. 시작 — the start**

_what do you want most in life?_

" _i want to always be with him. but only if he wants this, too. i would not dare impose nor force myself when he has no desire traversing life with me._ "

the river is cold beneath his skin, and jaehyun thinks sangyeon is loveliest when he's like this, left alone to his freedom and tasting fruits of his own volition. he knows now to not ask for jaehyun's permission to do anything when they are alone together for he needs not to. 

jaehyun should be given complete rule over him, lord and servant tied by bloodlines of servitude and ownership, but he longs for none of that. he only wants sangyeon happy and taken care of.

the god whispers around him, of a wish to be given and made true. he's rewarded this much for seeing sangyeon as someone equal. someone to love.

he's washing the fruits at the river by their feet, saccharine juice and berry-bursts inking his fingertips. jaehyun plans to kiss the stains off from his skin.

" _am i to be blessed this much, truly? what is granted to me?"_

the god warms the air around him. exulted and giddy with delight in the pureness of his love.

_what you want most in life._

**ii. 시들다 — wither**

_shrill birdsong, whistle piercing, a breath, thunders of footfalls in hurry, "one moment, i'll be there!", gate creaking, a horse-drawn carriage rumbling past, packed soil path cracking crumbling under wood wheels._

jaehyun does not know if he's still the same, if this man before him is who he's holding on for, if names are such simple things to be owned by so many people at once, but he's always met him after sounds, anyway, so he gambles with the idea and presses on,

"lee sangyeon, sir? i'm to deliver flowers from town." 

the summer sun had colored the blooms vased beside his boots vibrant, surely smelling sweet enough to warrant the attention of what number of bees are scattered throughout the orchard jaehyun had spied just beyond the house.

though, there's a resounding _clang!_ from somewhere else, and the sound makes the glint of sangyeon's smile sharper under the sun. it is most likely metalworks, minor repairings of axes or cable links for the carriages. but still, the sound insists in the air, making jaehyun remember, taking his focus off of sangyeon for once in his lives.

[ _swords' steel glints, leather armor chainmail links, the_ _other side of the battlefield. strategies and crowns to defend, general and enemy. bloody, heated, deadly. bloody_. ]

the wooden gate sways open between them, oakwood sounding old in the fever-hot wind that blows through. 

"ah, yes. would you mind–" sangyeon glances down and points at the flowers, _has it always been this easy to call your name?_ –"helping me carry these inside? i've wounded one of my hands so i could not lift heavy things for now, forgive me."

there is _demure_ written all over the lines sangyeon's lips, made as he smiles, and whatever flush the sun could have kissed jaehyun's skin with seems to have been amplified a hundred times over. 

he's aware at this something that comes flushing his face, knows that this is from the heat on his chest rather than that which burns above them both. it's addling his mind, along with sangyeon looking at him and the ages-old smile that never really changed, and jaehyun's caught on the recesses of recalling memories lifetimes away.

he's had centuries of practice, he can shake this off, all it will take is a nod and a smile, this sangyeon is just as clueless as those who came before him; so jaehyun did just that and carried a vase on each arm, followed the other down the few meters to his home.

when they pass through the door, sangyeon's steps are soft and gentle, the previous thunders now a dandelion breeze. jaehyun mimicks this, of course, he has no right to act as he pleases when inside the home of others. bored reincarnate or not, he would not forget his upbringings.

and so, they round a corner;

_and—_

"honey, the flowers have arrived, look!" 

lounging underneath the patch of sunlight drifting through wide windows is another man, _honey_ , who promptly let go of the guitar in his hands and stood up as they came into view. 

_honey_ , whose hand went up to hold sangyeon by the small of his back, guiding both of them back to where jaehyun's waiting just under the entryway of the living room. 

after the endearment, jaehyun can see sangyeon stiffen, likely regretting voicing out his affections and taking the show of love from another man. 

jaehyun makes sure to smile at him. "don't worry," he says. and the room gets a little less tense, breaths let go and sunshine mirroring in the warmth of their relief, "i won't tell."

 _i know_. sangyeon's crinkling mirth is always beautiful to look at. _i know._

uneven steps, _honey_ leans weighted on one side. _honey_ , who lets out his delight and places a small kiss on the swell of sangyeon's cheek that is by no means minuscule in the grander scale of things.

_do i tell him?_

_how it's always been us, how we've travelled the years, meeting unmeeting loving unloving, how it's fate and choice and a million stardust specks that has granted us this chance at happiness?_

no.

_no_. 

jaehyun's too late in this life.

 _honey_ took the vases from his arms with a grin and "i'll take care of these, thank you so much." setting off to another part of the house that's blocked from jaehyun's sight by a wall, a limp in the heavy fall of his right step so sangyeon watches over him with worry in his hands but fondness in his eyes, and jaehyun can't even get mad at _honey_ if he'd tried to, because sangyeon always always fell for sweet people with sweeter smiles and

[ " _love, i could watch you smile all through days and never tire_." ]

it's a pity how now jaehyun's thousands of smiles too late.

sangyeon, faint, bringing him back to the present, "the payment has been settled when i requested for an order the other day, mr—?"

jaehyun was out the shop that day, he had to have been, there's no other way he could've missed this. missed _him_. it must've been his sister who's written lee _sangyeon - daffodils, sunflower, roses_ on the list.

forcing himself out of the trance, he replied, "lee jaehyun—" _next time, then_ —" like always."

a handshake, formal and short. business. 

the _like always_ ignored and masked with the polite curiosity that's perpetually with sangyeon. always had been. probably always will be.

back to tracing his way back to the gate, to the road, to town and his flowers.

jaehyun's too easy out of sangyeon's life this time around.

**iii. 철제 — iron**

_arrow slicing the air, kissing jaehyun's ear drawing blood, pop of bones and guttural cries of both butcher and butchered, horses running off, swords against shields, spears against spears. bloodlust haze in the eyes of his king, ringing jaehyun's ears with the weight of his murders' burden._

caught unaware and something nicks at his arm. hissing through the surprise, jaehyun clenches his fist. iron flows red down his hand, slipping in the crevices between palm and sword-hilt.

when he's turned, it's to parry the broadsword coming down from above him, the swing of his opponent shaking his entire body through the impact. 

jaehyun's enemy in the moment carries no shield, bold in the way he only has leather against his skin by way of armor. both his hands are occupied with the sword, circling jaehyun who's quietly assessing him. 

"you should know better than to stand still in the battlefield—" the enemy scans his body, eyes through his visor looking for spots to injure, but he fixes on jaehyun's hair—" _dove_."

in the easier breaths does he notice the absence of his own helmet. wind blowing through, blonde strands loose from the knot and obscuring his view.

"if you're threatened by someone _dove_ and weak as me, why not take my head back to your camp?"

a swipe underneath his feet. he falls down stumbling but puts his sword up just in time to block the swift downstroke. "oh, i'd take your head, alright." 

"pretty thing," the man sits on him, weight caging jaehyun as he looks to want taking his sweet time. "think i don't know who you are, _general_?" 

_why did i_ have _to be known, spoils the surprise, gods_. jaehyun stretches a leg and manages to kick the man behind his neck, maneuvering the body so it falls sideways. a quick scan on his surroundings tells him that the battle's on the final drags of the intensity. once he's freed he picks up his sword, but he hears grunting behind him and scowls.

the man _still_ lives. "guess only swords could kill you, hm?"

but when turns around, he instead wishes it would be him that's set to be killed. right then and there.

[ _quiet, calm, love. songs that aren't of battle or war, nothing but hymns of affection filling the gaps between the stars at night. warmth, what jaehyun wouldn't give for something like this. something like love._ ]

his enemy has removed his helmet, and jaehyun wishes he'd been born anywhere else, someway somewhere he isn't born to fight his monarch's battles.

"next time you kick me, make sure you hit right behind my head."

 _cruel_. it's sangyeon's face his enemy wears, but none of his gentleness. none of his quiet joy, no kindness in the blaze of hunger in his eyes, no trace of love in the rhythm of his swings. _too cruel_.

what choice is given jaehyun now, when he's stuck between loving and living? he could only parry and never attack, the reach of the broadsword much further than his own, so far it reaches his chest when evading has escaped his instincts. 

it burns through the chainmail, searing against the skin warming with flowing blood, but jaehyun finds it in himself to step back and keep his love at bay. 

[ _i want to always be with him_. ] 

he should have wished to love sangyeon forever. jaehyun had been too eager, too easy, too trusting that the god back then would only want what's best for him. jaehyun should have been clearer. 

he's brought this curse upon himself.

sangyeon advances still, hands sword eyes body seeking to take and kill. jaehyun steps forward and meets him sword-first heart-last.

**iv. 노래 — song**

_wind chimes, piano keys, sea waves, radio static, pencil scribbles on rough paper, ocean crashing against rocks, a plane taking off, wind chimes again. static, again. ocean song, again_.

juyeon took his phone from the depths of his bag, from where it's resounded that haunting series of melodies that should probably be more something than just a ringtone.

[ _fate, stars, a reminder of the always-lost, the always-found, but most of all the never-kept. love tantamount to the deep, to the high, to the never-ending cycle of life_. ]

"sorry about that, hyung. forgot to set it silent,"

juyeon says as he tries to finish the sketch outline he charcoals onto pages of his newest sketchbook. there had been scratches of drags against the paper, but not as rough a sound as what jaehyun had heard from the ringtone. like that was something amplified, a thing to be remembered etched on the insides of his marrow. 

something to move him despite lasting so short. ephemeral.

"where'd you get it from?" is jaehyun's own way of saying it's alright. his personal brand of forgiveness; diversion and shift of conversation.

juyeon, then humming his song through teeth sinking unto lips, "hm?" habit developed to stop himself from talking when he needs to focus—case: the lines of his sketch don't look right. yet. 

he picks his eraser up but doesn't put it to use. he rights the crooked lines by shading over them.

"oh, it's from hoon-hyung's new music friend." 

jaehyun let juyeon finish righting the angles of the face he's stuck drawing, sipping on his honeyed tea as the younger bit his lips almost raw. they passed the hours like that, because juyeon needed to be reminded of the time once he's started on his art for the day. jaehyun's apartment is the best place to go to, of course, for much as he's never really exceptional at cooking, his redemption lies in the fact that he'll go great lengths for any of his dongsaengs.

jaehyun's never been interested much in money; he makes more than what he'd need to live comfortably, albeit alone. despite. anyway.

no, the company is the payment; there is nothing lonelier than being lonely.

when juyeon looks back up again, he has a finger halfway to his bottom lip and then wincing when he'd touched it. the face on the sketchbook is nothing but a rough draft made by even rougher lines, but the eyes were detailed and filled-in. jaehyun tried to stop, failed, ended up reminding himself that the dark of these eyes are nothing to the ones he's been waiting for decades to see again.

"he sent me the file the day after i met him, said i must be getting lonely not being able to travel because of college," juyeon's grin is slow in its splitting as he says this. today the stars in his eyes reflect his quiet pleasure at being gifted something meaningful.

"busan-mp3 was what it's named, sent two minutes before 3 a.m." by this time, the younger's grin fully showcased the gleam of his teeth. too close to something that should've scared jaehyun had he not been raised surrounded by people wearing predator-hungry smiles, had he not known juyeon for years, had he not known that there isn't any danger in him.

"told him of that time i was out back-packing for a week, remember that, hyung? when i was at busan for two days because i wanted to stay by the seas?"

"he must be talented, then, to have made that in what few hours of rest he has between college work."

something like understanding in juyeon's gaze, like knowing. 

"crazy talented, hyung. lee sangyeon-hyung, seoul, he's new to producing, shifted from the sciences but i feel like he's made to do _this_ , you know?

wind chimes with ocean waves and piano and planes and static and pencil scratches—" he shakes his head, as if he can't believe it either—"how'd he know to do that? i didn't even realise i was missing busan before i listened to it."

juyeon flips the page to another, but doesn't sketch again. flighty. fickle. always, as are most of the creative ones. he finishes his tea, and the teacup makes no noise when he sets it down back to the coffee table. 

_lee sangyeon._

it's nearing sunset. juyeon's let go of his eraser and in the now lighter presses of his pencil it's evident how he's close to finishing for today. jaehyun stalks off to kitchen, dinner in mind.

should he really? would the world be kinder to him this time, when he's already suffered through lifetimes of memories as he's living with the knowledge of why it's him? why it's them? _why_?

but only when they're both seated at the dining table—a full spread of take-outs, meats and stews as jaehyun had forgotten to do the groceries, but juyeon doesn't ever complain—is when jaehyun comes up with the bravery compelling him to reach out and try again.

"juyeon-ah," he calls across. juyeon puffs his cheek with half-chewed mouthfuls so his tongue is free when he asks, "what's it, hyung?" 

"think you can introduce hyung to your new friend?" 

something like understanding in juyeon's gaze, like knowing. 

he's teasing him with that playful smile, withholding the answer because he thinks jaehyun's interested in sangyeon. _all for the wrong reasons, though_.

he reconsiders. _all for the_ right _reasons_.

jaehyun has waited lifetimes and lifetimes again. jaehyun is patient and long-suffering. never uncomplaining, that's for sure, but what else is expected of him? what else, if not for the relief flooding his veins golden when juyeon swallows his food and softens his smirk just before he says, "when do you want to meet him, hyung?"

**Author's Note:**

> im aware how painfully hyunjae-centric this is for a fic thats supposed to celebrate sangyeons bday but :'D happy birthday sangyeon!!! 
> 
> (if ive written something offensive/ wrong regarding the historical references pls tell me,, im open to editing this)
> 
> [my twt!](https://mobile.twitter.com/jjukyus) [my curiouscat!](https://curiouscat.qa/kyuisms)


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